THE SEARCH FOR MR. ADEQUATE
Part 66

By Susan Silver

Ok, it’s totally hearsay, duh, obviously, but I loved it. This rather rich-bitch looking blond with all the required brand accoutrement, was yelling the following:

“Yes, that’s what she said. She said Star was fired, having nothing to do with Rosie being hired. And you know she knows what’s going on there.”

We’ll see, won’t we? For those of you who don’t know what the hell I’m talking about, it’s not that important. Ok, okay … ’The View’ cast changes.

And the winner is …

But speaking of TV: Well, Dear Readers, this is a huge week TV wise! My Elliot was eliminated from American Idol which left Taylor and Kat. You know I don’t like her. She is a very pretty, talented girl, but erratic in performance, and just not as gracious or as real as he. He is an original and a real dark horse so you gotta root for him!

Of course I voted Tuesday night, but could only get through 4 times for Taylor. And one of my friends, Jen, called to tell me she couldn’t get through at all. That is actually good news because it means his lines are totally tied up.

Idol mania has really maxed. Everyone is talking about it on TV … even the news channels. Heck, maybe we should have them run the Presidential elections, they get more votes.

And on Wednesday, though I had a cocktail party, I rushed home to find out the winner. 

The show was kind of amazing! It was really a spectacular and they had major guests singing with the kids. Like from Meatloaf (that’s a singer) to Prince. Yes, Taylor won and I’m glad.

I was switching back and forth the last hour like an idiot because I also had to see the finale show of “Lost.” I’d been a fan in the beginning but when Idol started, I (not having Tivo, or knowing how to tape) transferred my loyalty to it.

However, the mystery of why these people are on this island and what all the mystical and prophetic gibberish is, still holds my interest. And the final episode promised to make some things clear … at least enough to satisfy the obsessed while still leaving mystery for season two.

It did and it didn’t. I am going to have read the blogs to find out what I didn’t understand … but the bottom line is they still have not told us who the bad guys are and what the good guys are doing on the damn island!

The best of final episodes, so far, this year was on “House.” I have raved about this medical mystery show before, but kids … the final show was amazing. One of the most interesting, intelligent, and gripping hours I’ve ever seen on TV.

House, the cranky genius, was shot by the husband of a former patient. The breakneck storyline that came pounding out of some genius writer’s computer (wish I’d gotten his/her name) was filled with all sorts of philosophical questions which were dramatized, not just spoken about. Fantasy vs. reality, truth and how to define it, a truly amazing medical question and … in the end, though I sort of suspected it, but couldn’t be sure, it all turned out to be … well I don’t want to spoil it for you if you didn’t see it. I hate when critics tell the end.

It really took my breath away. I hope you can catch it in repeats. Wow!!

The Apprentice is down to the final two … guys. Sean, the glib English self- proclaimed “metro sexual” has the edge. Lee, the other guy, is smart, but too young for the job, I’d say.

All in all, a fun season for those of us who are basically couch potatoes.

Now for the bad news …

I told you last time that there was breaking news on the gang. Well, here ‘tis …

Deb fell and broke her ankle! Poor baby. She emailed me the news, but when I asked her how it happened, she responded as only our Deb could do.

“That’ll teach me to wear sexy heels,” she moaned.

Right, Deb. Those “sexy” Stride Rite one inchers? Or your Red Cross one and a quarters?

It actually was a pair of ‘slightly high wedges’ and it’s all my fault as I forced her to get with the program and wear hotter shoes. I am sorry. I love you and hope you heal soon. The crutches are a bitch.

On a more serious level, here is a cautionary tale that I will tell you with some hesitation. I share it because girls, we’ve all been there … the point is we cannot stay there!

You remember that Lizzie, who is rather OCD compulsive, had been seeing a guy on or off for over twenty years basically for dinner and hot sex. (Columns 10, 29) Sometimes years would go by without hearing from him. Well, she found out that he has gotten engaged! Now mind you, she had given him the boot a while back because he gave her nothing. I mean nothing … no conversation, no affection, no gifts.

So I and everyone else was thrilled she’d finally stood up for herself. However, this really threw her for a loop. And I understand. It’s a shock that someone who seemed totally unable to commit, did so … and with someone else. But the truth is … it is the best thing that could happen to her so she can move on to a real life and, hopefully, real relationship.

Only she doesn’t see it that way and was really off the deep end. I did my best to listen to the rehash over and over about ‘how could he do this to me?’ The answer being any one of the following: He’s a jerk. He never promised you anything. She isn’t getting such a prize. You let him take advantage of you and you did the right thing breaking it off because he never was going to give you what you needed and this proves it. Life sucks sometimes. We always said it wasnot a real relationship and you were willing to accept that. This too shall pass and finally … you have to get over it!!

I come from the school of thought that friends can be there for you, but sometimes you need professional therapy help. She won’t do it.

Or get some good books starting with “He’s Just Not That Into You.” And I’ll even discuss them with you, but I won’t ‘enable’ anymore, after one week of hysteria to discuss it ad infinitum, ad nausea. Nobody died but a fantasy. I understand, have been there, but enough is enough.

And finally, get out of the house. Get your hair cut, get a makeup application, change yourself image for a pick me up. Go the movies, go to plays, take your mind off it.

Go help someone else, and at the risk of getting too Oprah on ya … be grateful for all you have. And it is a lot! And not just clothes and 1000 pairs of shoes!

The answer to all the above was no and then no response. So kids …    

I am at a loss … for now.

I say cautionary tale, because it’s easy to fall into this kind of trap when we are involved with someone who is not really good for us. Sigh … LOML comes to mind although he was good to me in all the ways the other jerk was not to her. However, I am trying to take my own advice and thank you very much have done quite well. Okay, just recently, finally, this year, I say patting myself on the back. I am on the good path! And it works. I hope she does it too.

My other girlfriend, who was dating the younger guy even though she knew it wasn’t going anywhere, had her own trauma. He sort of disappeared on her! She was upset … at herself for putting herself in the spot in the first place.

But as we discussed, she got something from it also … nice sex, which she really wanted. And it made her feel good for a while. I told her she should not be upset with herself at all. This guy was a problem going in and she is much better off without him. She agrees but her pride was hurt. And she’s pissed at him. I get that.

So I told her to write him a really nasty letter and then NOT SEND IT. (I, on the other hand, usually do send it.) But she did as I said and now feels better. Plus she is out and about a lot and very good at making a life for herself after being widowed. I have learned a lot from her. She is always game to do stuff, like our silly dance classes. She will be just fine.

Stan called from another business trip to tell me that even though he was slightly askance that I told you guys about his near ball breaking accident (Column 64) he is doing very well and so are ‘they.’ He wanted me to tell you that part.

Lil and Lennie, even though she had a health scare, are off on a trip to Eastern Europe. Lil is amazing, having gone through a lot of bad health stuff and never … and I mean never complaining. I love them.

I love them even though they fixed me up last week. Here’s the story. A cute guy, really. And nice. But guys … if you want some hints on dating, may I suggest the following.

• Do not go on about how you loved the last wife even though you knew from the beginning that she was a “difficult type,” stayed three years too long and got taken to the cleaners. At least not on the first date.
• Do not confess that you are thinking of moving shortly to Florida soon as you can’t afford New York. (Sorry I am not rich enough to date a guy with no money. If I were, and he was great, I would.)
• Don’t tell me how the last girl you dated went crazy on you because you wanted to see ‘24’ rather than her one night.

Although I really get that … and would no doubt do the same for an Idol finale. Actually … the ideal thing would be to want to watch it with the person. But there is something about not really caring that much about

dating when TV takes precedence … and don’t I know it!

Anyway ... I am not angry at the two L’s because he was a nice guy. Just not for me. Plus, I do not want to discourage anyone from fixing me up. 

I did have a great date the other night. It was, however, with a new couple I met. Really fun and smart and with a country home. Summer is coming … hint hint.

The really good/bad news is that I’ve started the remodel of my bathroom

and the next few weeks should be interesting.

P.S. (A side note of appreciation of Oprah’s covering of her visit to Auschwitz with Elie Wiesel. As he remarks, it is “the largest cemetery in human history.” Truly moving and so important to educate young people who perhaps have no historical knowledge. This is one of the gifts of the medium … to see what we might never be able to see on our own. More hard hitting than reading or hearing about it. When TV is really at its best!)   

Respond to susan@newyorksocialdiary.com.