THE SEARCH FOR MR. ADEQUATE
Part XXXIII
By Susan Silver

Well, I can see that I haven’t made the wedding announcement page yet ... but I am intrigued with the stories of those who have. I am taking it as a good sign, that my interest in the topic is increasing.

One of the things I notice is that there are a lot of couples in which the woman is older. This is good for me. Another thing is that the same sex couples are increasing. This is neither good nor bad for me as I intend to remain heterosexual. A third thing is that quite a few couples knew each other previously, a long time ago and had renewed the relationship after a first marriage tanked. I really like these. I call this the “Natalie Wood/Robert Wagner syndrome” and it makes me think of all my past loves who might be coming back, although I do not want to drown.

A good number of brides are keeping their names. This of course wasn’t done the first time around. I don’t know if I would do it now. Silver is, after all, my married name but the name I wrote under and I do like the alliteration. Yet if I finally remarry after all these years, I might want to brag about being Mrs. So and So ... depending on his name of course. I would never be a hyphenate, however, unless it came with the title ... Lady So and So-Symthe for example. Don’t laugh. We all know of a former pushy proletarian New Yorker who made the grade.

Another thing is quirky ceremonies. Brides, particularly second time around, are opting for amusing, less serious weddings. And since they are obviously not wearing white, it frees them up colorwise. But black still is a no no in my book. And costumes ie. Renaissance wear is not my style either. I’m going to go for a simple sexy sheath, portrait neckline, probably in cream or pale yellow.

Theme weddings that mirror the couples’ interests abound as well. Deep sea wedding? I don’t swim. The other Sunday there was a profile of a couple who got married on the Jeopardy TV Show set. The category is “Tempting the Fates.” The answer is “What was a really schmucky idea, Alex?”

I still want a traditional ceremony, in a temple or hotel. That’s another interesting theme ... lots of mixed marriages with two clergy people “participating.” Well actually it seems that one “officiates” and the other participates. I am open to that, now that both of my parents are gone. So guys of all faiths ... come on down.

I want a matron of honor and perhaps a few bridesmaids. The first time around I had four friends and relatives standing up for me and I even picked good looking dresses for them, so I promise to do the same next time. (This is a personal note to my cousin Diane in the Midwest.) I am not sure which friends will be asked, but if you are the one to fix me up with the guy who becomes my new husband, you are a shoo in. (This is a note to you, Dear Readers of either gender.)

So if I have marriage on the brain, possibly I will attract it. Yes? I’d like to think so. Let’s ... whoops. The phone is ringing ... interrupting my reveries! It is Deb. She is not going out with the blind date guy again. She can’t find any chemistry between them and I know how that is. She did however spill red sauce over him and the table and herself on this last date and was too embarrassed to give him the kiss off, hoping he would do it instead.

However, he called her the next day to tell her that there was sauce all over the upholstery in his car, but he didn’t mind. She asked me a way to say goodbye and I suggested the old “ a guy I used to date came back” ... but she’d already confessed she hadn’t dated in years.

So we decided she should go with the “I just met someone that I really click with and I’m so sorry.” Or just change your phone number.

Back to the wedding notices. There are wonderful little stories that accompany them and you can really get a sense of whether or not the marriage has a shot. Even by looking at the body language in the photos. If the guy is turned the other direction, or she is leaning in and he is grimacing ... that’s not a good sign.

I have a photo of my parents with my ex and me at the engagement party. We are all looking at the camera and smiling and he is looking off (for help?) to the side. Hmmmmm.

Well, the summer is almost at an end and I have one more trip to take.

I’m off to California for ten days. I go every year to the Renaissance Weekends. These were made popular by the Clintons but are non-partisan.

Lots of very smart and interesting people talking and networking. This time it’s in Monterey. I’ve never been and am kind of excited to see it. Then I got to LA for a few days and finally up to Santa Barbara to stay with a very cool lady I met through the column.

So you see I can come to visit you too, Dear Readers. Something for both of us to look forward to, isn’t it. I’m free the rest of the year, and especially around the Holidays ...

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