THE SEARCH FOR MR. ADEQUATE
Part XXXIV
By Susan Silver

I was away at a conference in Monterey, a beautiful place on the California coast, when the Hurricane and the disastrous flooding were taking place.

Throughout the few days of the meeting, I would take breaks and run up to my room and watch on TV as the horrific pictures were shown. I, and everyone else at the conference, was torn between feeling guilty for being able to go about our business and enjoy ourselves and what was happening to our fellow citizens. We talked about it and what we could do.

It seemed inconceivable that these pictures were happening here in America. Though we are accustomed to seeing these things in other countries, we surely couldn’t experience it here. Well, of course we can and we have. And I won’t get into issues of preparedness or response. I just couldn’t believe what I was watching. It broke my heart.

New Orleans is a special place. I’ve been fortunate enough to go there several times. It was a glorious, mysterious, dare I say “sexy” city. The joyfulness of the music, the beauty of the architecture, the friendliness of the people always made it an exciting and wonderful experience.

It was a unique city and I don’t know that it will ever be the same. How do you rebuild history and intrinsic atmosphere?

I am not one of the people who could charter a plane and rush down to help. I wish that I were. Honestly, I don’t know if I would have if I could. I have friends who spent days at the Red Cross volunteering and gathering clothes to donate while I was away on my vacation. I, and I know most of you, will give money. In fact, I have decided to double my “charity budget.” But I had a thought, if I may ... that in addition to what we are going to give, we also take the money we have spent, or would have spent on a glorious dinner at Galatoire’s or any of the other fabulous restaurants in New Orleans and donate that as well. And throw in a little bit more for what it costs for a night on the town at the extraordinary jazz clubs. They need it.

I was fortunate to be away so that I wouldn’t be glued to the TV, as I am wont to do during these tragedies. I was fortunate to meet incredible people doing wonderful things and enjoying their lives. And I need to take a lesson from them. I have to live my life more and in more fruitful ways. I have to start by getting out of bed!

We never think this could happen to us, only others. And we don’t prepare. We don’t do the minimum which was suggested by someone in the government Security Department who told us all at the meeting to make sure of our preparedness kits. After 9/11 I put something together and hid it under a table in my bedroom. It has one large water, canned goods, some cash (not enough), batteries and a radio. Not nearly adequate for what was at least three or four days without help in Katrina. We also were told that we should print out a list of ALL our accounts that are electronically controlled ... as the systems could be down for weeks or longer. And our passports and perhaps some keepsakes or photos that are precious. I, for one, am going to get that up to date asap and I pass it along to you.

It is a cliche to tell people to relish each day they are given, but cliches are often true and that is why they bear repeating. I am guilty of complaining about minor annoyances and not appreciating my life. Even though I had a life threatening occurrence in 2000, I too have started to take things for granted again ... though there were a few months I was smelling the roses and telling everyone I loved that I loved them!

On my trip I “ran smack into” a reminder of how fragile life is. (Forgive the metaphor when I tell you what happened. The odds of this are tiny, thankfully. They said 4 times in 25 years actually.) I was on a train going from Santa Barbara back to Los Angeles. The train was late and some of us ... ok, I and another couple were grumpy. About forty minutes in, the Conductor ran through our Business Class car to the front of the train. A moment later an announcement came on ... annoyingly inaudible as they are.

The train had a “trespasser incident.” Whatever that is. We thought it meant someone had gotten on the train with bad intentions. The train came to a stop. Several minutes went by as we in the car contemplated to each other what that could mean. A bomb? A terrorist? A prank?

It turned out to be the train euphemism of all time! Someone had been struck and killed by the train!

It is considered “trespassing” to be on the railroad owned tracks. A woman, either a suicide or homeless, or otherwise deranged woman ... was walking on the track with a grocery bag. We were stunned. We were all shaken by this. Then the announcement came back on and said we would be delayed for anywhere from one to four hours. And people got angry. And upset.

We had to wait for the police and then the coroner and, it being a weekend, who knew where he was or how long it would take for him to be contacted. And we forgot about the poor woman who had had lost her life and we were back to our own. I was not in a rush so I was not unduly upset about this ... but something else earlier which I will tell you about in a future column. But I did think it ironic that I had postponed flying on 9/11 for fear of some kind of incident and then had this happen, out of the blue, no way would it have been anticipated.

Again, the fragility of life.

And when I got to LA with stories of this “adventure”, bad news struck again. A young couple whom I’d recently met ... two beautiful people with two beautiful little kids ... the perfect family, I’d called them, had come to New York and called me. When I picked up the message I was delighted, that I would be seeing them on my return. I called back to get less than delightful news.

They were in New York, not for fun but because the husband had been diagnosed with a rare tumor which was found just by accident. No symptoms, no warning. And they were going to various hospitals in the area for consultation. They were in shock. Unfortunately they were leaving before I got home so I wouldn’t be seeing them. I have called and checked up and while the treatment will be difficult, and life changing, there is hope for recovery.

So here it is ... cliché time again. Enjoy every day. Tell those you love that you do. Don’t sweat the small stuff. As long as you have your health ... you are fortunate. I wish I had something fun to end with ... as I feel it has become my duty and one I relish ... to make you laugh ... but I promise I will in the coming weeks. My trip was filled with good stuff.

So, see you next week ... and don’t forget the Katrina victims who will need us for a long time to come. NYSD has a wonderful site to inform you on an ongoing basis.

#

P.S. And oh yeah ... I love you all for reading The Search and sending me such great emails! See, I even take my own advice.

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