THE SEARCH FOR MR. ADEQUATE
10/6/06

By Susan Silver

Dear Readers, you are so great! I got a lot of really sweet emails last week complimenting me on the photo, thanks, and wishing me luck with the dates from the Internet. Your wishes are really appreciated, but clearly we need prayer in addition.

Okay, the first batch of dates … well, here’s what happened. After receiving over 30, I weeded out and remember had chosen a lawyer, doctor, and writer.

The lawyer was first. Very nice looking and we had a too long conversation on the phone. I really think you can “leave it in rehearsal” by over doing the

talking before meeting, but nevertheless we made a date for drinks.

Since he lived in New Jersey, I know, I know … it was a little GU in that he had to make it later at night, after work. But I was trying to be accommodating, so I got out of the pj’s and actually went out at 8:30 to a nearby hotel bar to meet him.

He was truly good looking and very smart. He had the observational smarts as well as schooling and a fun sense of humor. This was looking good … then it shifted into a bit of concern. He told me a little too much info about his prior relationships, had their pictures STILL on his phone and insisted I look at them.

Hmmm.

Then things shifted again and he was very open about his family etc. and being a single father, which I thought was lovely. A few moments later, the talk got a little too sexual for a first date and I moved a few inches away.

He noticed. I told you he was observant. And he told me that my “body language” had closed up. Yeahhhh … .and that’s not all that did.

The bill came and the cover charge for the music took him by surprise, me too, but he started obsessing over it and I felt guilty, not guilty enough to offer to pay mind you, but since the place was my choice, I will be aware of it next time and not go there. But as it says in the hair color ad, “I’m worth it!” she said immodestly.

When we left, he got a little touchy feely and when I didn’t respond, I figured I wouldn’t be hearing from him again. Right, so far. Frankly I think he is smart to go on the internet site as he has gotten lucky before. There are a lot of women who would love to get cuddly with a good looking guy. But since he has told me their names, first and last … I don’t want to be one of them.

Next, the Doctor. Very interesting over the phone and we were going to arrange for a drink in a few days. Then he called and invited me to go to a comedy club, which I would have liked, but was busy. He didn’t call again. I guess he went down the list of the next girl to find one not busy. Easy come, easy go. He’d never been married, which is kind of a red flag.

Third, the young guy … the writer. He is really young and was cute enough to say he knew it wouldn’t work, but since we were both writers, he a book writer with a lot of published successes, we should at least meet and be friends.

The weird thing is when I looked at his picture, I knew him!! Have seen him around at various functions so I emailed back and said I had a good idea. We can be friends and I’ll look for younger girls for him and he can look for older guys for me. We are having lunch Saturday as I know he is not an axe murderer.

A new bunch of very young guys have emailed but I think I’ll stay closer to my generation.

Double Trouble

LL, my new friend, and I have been running around a lot. It’s really good to have a girlfriend who is attractive, bright and has the same interests. No no … not just looking for guys.

We went to the Opera as she got tickets for the dress rehearsal. Now you Dear Readers, who have been with me for a while, know there are two things I am not especially keen on. Opera and puppets. (I resisted going to Avenue Q for months but was forced into it by friends and hated it, just as a I thought I would. Puppets.) And though I did love La Boheme staged by Baz Lurhman a few year ago, it was for the visuals, not the singing. I was taken by another friend to a second opera which I did not like at all.

But this was The Magic Flute and I do love Mozart, plus the staging was by Julie Taymor, who I believe is quite a genius. The visuals were stunning!

Puppetlike, but much much more. Twenty foot birds, thirty foot bears! A flying feast! A set that was magnificent with immense Lucite wedges moving into glorious shapes and lighting and costumes that were spectacular.

The Queen had a beautiful voice and the children/chorus were delightful and talented. It was a wonderful morning, though a bit long. And I did feel like I was playing hooky. This column hadn’t been written and I was a bad girl sneaking out for three hours, but what the hell. Let’s not tell the Editor.

I went to a political Congressional fundraiser and it was interesting to hear the conjecture about the Internet-sex-with-the-Intern-Scandal. I ran into a few guys I’d known from Aspen and Renaissance weekend. All married, but lots of fun and it was good to get out and about and see old friends. No, I didn’t meet any new ones, but I did run into a girl who “loves the column and says she is the queen of fixing people up!” We are waiting with bated breath.

LL and I did a shopping day at Macy’s. Every year I do this. I get most of my new clothes at Saks and the like, but for the very trendy, one season stuff I go to Macy’s for the entire day and you can get a whole wardrobe for one third of what you’d pay elsewhere! These are things like accessories or “once seen never forgotten” as my mother used to say and you can give them away, the next year.

As I’ve told you in the past, DR’s, my talents include packing well and shopping well! My mother was a personal shopper so it’s either in the genes or I learned it.

So from time to time I take friends like Deb or others who want my advice for a shopping day. I put  a “look together” that suits them and get the thrill of buying without spending my own money! And they are happy too.

Macy’s is the best for it and plus the largest shoe department which goes on for miles, they have a fab food court where the made to order pasta is killer!

We were there for most of the day and I wound up getting a hot pair of leopard f- me heels, and a stunning leopard bag that LL got too. No we will not wear them together like twins from the boonies! And I put together three pants outfits for her with some other pieces and two great pairs of boots so she did very well for under budget! She is not on a budget, mind you, but I made her stick to one. 

I never had a sister and it was really like I imagined that would be … as we actually thought of buying one purse and sharing it, but since we got such a great deal … she signed up for a charge card and we got 30% off on everything … we each got our own.

We made plans to go to Palm Beach where she has her place and then a few days in Miami for Art Basel in December, which should be fun.

I also went to dinner with old friends, that is in duration and age. The upper East Side restaurants are buzzing during the week, though mostly with couples. Last Sunday, Deb and I and some friends of hers also went out to one of the more happening places. We ran into lots of people I knew, a few I’d dated. Uhhh.

One of the girls told us a story that is my warning to all of you and myself, who are going the Internet dating route. Now, I will say, my ex-husband’s best friend met his wife, and others have done so, but there are dangers.

This girl’s sister, who is supposedly very pretty, and enormously successful in a mostly male oriented business, had never married. She decided now was the time and being a very goal oriented type, went about it full force on the net. She met a guy who seemed promising and in six weeks they were living together. Yeah, that’s what I said...way too soon!

Things were going well, until one night he called her and said he was bringing home a dog. She said no. He said “that’s a deal breaker” and that was that. He moved out. Huh?

Perhaps a little too late, she “googled” him and found out he was a felon and had lied about everything! Lucky she’s alive, I say.

I am a lot more careful than that. Hey, I don’t even get to the part where I give them my last name.

See you next week with the continuing saga/some would say soap opera that is my life. And we haven’t even discussed The Bachelor this season!

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