THE SEARCH FOR MR. ADEQUATE
Part XXXX
By Susan Silver

So Dear Readers, you might ask where are we at this momentous moment? I will catch you up on ‘moi and the gang.’

Happy days are here again!!

As I’ve said the last few times, I am pretty happy. Let’s figure out why. To tell the truth, I think there is a twofold explanation. Number one, I am trying to do, at least, one interesting activity a day and get out of the house! And it is working. I have been meeting new and interesting friends, attending informative seminars, speeches and social gatherings. And I walk around with a bit of a smile which is nice.

No, I have not met Mr. Adequate, but I have met some terrific young guys whom I have instructed to continue The Search for me when back at their offices. And I’ve actually had a few run-ins on the street with friendly males in discussion of traffic, near misses of same, the weather etc. which have given me the a smile and a lift, if not a romantic relationship. I am “practicing” at being an approachable gal.

But second, and of equal importance at least, is the fact that I have finally and for all time disabused myself of any thoughts of LOML. I really have cut off all contact and for the first time really feel free and happy about it. So it’s taken me nine years, but who’s counting? (I obviously still am, hmmm. Yes, I confess I was counting on the tenth anniversary for a nifty present, but c’est la vie. My joy is my present … yeah right.)

Cruisin’ … on a Sunday afternoon

As for Deb, well it’s Yogi Berra time (as in ‘deja vu all over again.’) She just returned from yet another cruise … perhaps it really is her destiny to meet a semi-adequate Mr. on one of these. The first, as many of you recall was Mr. Magic, (Columns 5 and 10) who performed on the ship, but not in her bedroom for reasons which are still up to debate. But not from any of us. Yes Dear Reader, many of you have agreed with me, he was gay. But Deb refuses still to accept it.

So now she called and told me that on this cruise, she found a Beatle. No not the many legged kind, it was the Crystal Cruise after all. The entertainment included a re-enactment troop of the Beatles. And as she so quaintly put it to me:

“I almost ddd-id it!” She stuttered.

I said, “Did what? Your laundry?”

“No, smartie,” said Deb. “I almost did … it!”

“Say the word,” I insisted.

“Had ssss—ex!” She stuttered again.

“You are kidding? Tell me! And I hope it wasn’t with the Ringo character!”

“No, the ‘Paul.’”

Well, it turned out that he was in his thirties and cute and followed her around as she gambled, which she does quite a bit. She actually won two jackpots but lost it back and in the end, chickened out with the ‘Paul.’ Yet, as I say to encourage her, she is at least trying and awakening the ‘vital juices.’ She promised that she had not gotten blotto and re-enacted her own performance of the birth of her child this trip. (Column 25) Whew! Without me to watch out for her it is dangerous for our reputations as Americans. Stop laughing.

Tiny bubbles …

Lizzie … well, I’m afraid she’s going downhill. She had way too much to drink (hmmm my friends seem to have this habit) at a Design Day we attended in the D and D building and made a tiny fool of herself for those who can see under five feet. And she stole a plastic champagne glass. For what reason I am still not clear, since she has priceless crystal, which she never uses, as no one is ever invited to her home. You’d have to take your shoes off, were she to invite you and I don’t know about you but short of being at the Imperial Palace in Japan, I’m not doin’ it.

She did however finally and bravely drop Delivery/Lover (Column 10) and is going through the tough withdrawal time. A cute, much younger guy who works at a store she frequents has offered his ‘services,’ but she and I aren’t sure it’ll be a good idea. We’re talking about it and I’ll let you know when we are sure he is not an ax murderer.

Stan is involved in a nice and serious relationship and I am keeping my fingers crossed. Don’t want to jinx it, so ‘nuff said.

Ben is now five and cuter than ever and Nate, who is two, tells me he
“ wuvs me” over the phone, though he has no idea who the hell I am unless he sees me face to face. I’m working on a trip to Minneapolis, hint hint.

Lil and Lennie are traveling, having great times with family and remain really boring to my readers and therefore I told them they better start acting up or will be dropped.

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday and when I was married, I always had the family over. Now, after being a guest for years, I actually was thinking of having the strays at my house this holiday. Except, believe it or not, I can’t round up enough strays to make it a party so far. The few I’d counted on are leaving town so they weren’t ‘stray and suicidal’ and are pissed I didn’t let them know sooner so they wouldn’t have had to travel. Sorry. And another twosome felt guilty about not going to their family, as does Stan.

Well, let’s see how it goes this week and then I’ll order the turkey, or the capon, or the pathetically tiny quail for two. Can you stuff a quail? I have a lovely first course and will provide cranberries. Lizzie is bringing the pies. We just need someone for the wine, and green bean casserole … ,we don’t really need bread, it’s too fattening … but we do need champagne. I have the liqueurs. I already had the housekeeper polish all the silver, but I’m thinking about not getting out the good china. It depends on the final number. This is obviously a work in progress that is rapidly deteriorating so I will keep you posted. Anyone know a nice restaurant?

See you next week … or not. I am getting a new computer. And the computer guy promises he will be able to teach me how to operate it etc. and since I am almost phobic about it, it remains to be seen. So let’s just hope.

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