THE SEARCH FOR MR. ADEQUATE
Part XXXXI
By Susan Silver

Dear Readers, those of you who have been with me from the beginning may recall our first column which explained that I was not dating enough and so a “new plan had to be formulated.” Well, for about a year I didn’t follow up on it consistently, but now, the last few weeks, I have and with good results. For me and for Lizzie too! And so, it might for you who are on The Search for your Adequate (plus) Other.

The part of the plan that is working is that I am going out once a day, even to an opening of the proverbial ‘envelope.’ That has improved my social life at least numerically. Which, we hope, will lead to more introductions, which will lead to finding Mr. ‘Ad’ etc. But in the meantime, I am having a ball.

And that’s what life is all about isn’t it? (Yes yes, doing good works too, I know. And I do. I promise.)

I went to a store opening for a new product that Stan is doing and was picked up by a couple of cute young guys, again financial money managers … somehow they must think I have finances to be managed. Anyway, as I am doing now regularly, I told them the deal: You fix me up and I put in a good word for your handling the portfolio … upon my closing the deal, ie. marriage.

So far one has called to invite me for a hedge fund program and another for drinks, but I might just go next time to explain the ‘deal’ in that it does not mean going out with them. And perhaps someone else there for hedge fund info will be appealing. You never can have too much info on your finances.
One day I bumped into an old … well, not exactly boyfriend, and I hate the word “lover” so … let’s call him semi-relationship. We hugged and caught up on each other’s life from the last twenty years. Alas, he is married, but still gives a great hug.

The next day I bumped into an old date. He was a nice guy who was not my type ten years ago, and after drinks, still isn’t. But hey … since it’s a numbers game, it still counts towards the plan and its’ purpose. And I delicately suggested that we fix each other up. He is going through a divorce and wished me luck. I guess that means no.

Last week, the weather was so beautiful that I walked everywhere … even across the Park, all the way home to the East Side, after my gym training. I found myself smiling at the fathers with their little kids, mostly it seemed boys with adorable bowler hair cuts, bundled into their strollers. The dads were out in force, communicating so cutely with the little ones. As I eavesdropped, I admit I was jealous, thinking of my little Nate and Ben and wishing I were with them.

But here’s the good news. I am going to spend my birthday weekend in Minneapolis next month! They won’t know what hit them as I accumulate the hugs and kisses for the next few months.

This week I went to two events that were fun. One, the opening of a photography show and the other a jewelry show. My picture was taken a lot and so anyone perusing Patrick McMullan’s site and spying me, feel free to call. Or pass it on to a friend. I am shameless but, hey, that’s part of the plan, isn’t it?

Then, today, and this is really embarrassing, I thought I was headed for a windfall event. My “financial manager,” who is really just my bond guy, whom I’ve known forever invited me for our yearly lunch. We usually go to a restaurant of my choosing, but he said that he was now having his lunches at the Bank headquarters in the private dining room and would I want to go there?

I said, hell yes! Because, I figured, it was all men, right? Bank? Park Ave? Private dining room? So … and this is the semi-pathetic part, I really put some effort into choosing my outfit. Conservative, as it was a bank … so no short, provocative, or leather skirt. Brown and camel, Park Ave. for god’s sake. Plus, I took a cab instead of walking, so my hair would look perfect.

Alas, the traffic was impossible, so I had to get out and walk as I was late after inching along for a seemingly endless twenty minutes to go twenty blocks, which cost me double the usual fair. The wind was blowing about tornado force so by the time I blew in, my hair was a mess. But as I rushed to ladies room, lemons had turned into lemonade! My perfect, set, too sprayed look, had transformed itself into an adorable Meg Ryan/Sally Hershberger cut without spending the obscene $600! And I think, and my bond guy thought … no fool Milt … that I looked at least “ten years younger” with the windswept look.

We are ushered into the private office through the private hallway to the private dining room. The problem was that it was so “private’ we were the only table. Apart from my being claustrophobic and feeling a tad anxious in the smallish enclosed room with smoked glass to make it really really private … and there being no men except the waiters, it was a lovely lunch.

And by the time I left, I had not seen one banker. It was too windy to walk home, so I took a bus and although I know eccentric billionaires have been known to ride buses, by and large the guys on buses are carrying messenger bags. So you get the point. But … I was out of the house.

This weekend, two cute really young guys I’d met at Renaissance Weekend are coming to NY and I am seeing each of them. One has to go to the Chocolate Show, which I regard as a better offer than sex and the other is taking me to lunch and I’ll pick a fun place. So I’m still on track for the “plan.”

Now, I mentioned Lizzie. She finally finally got over the Delivery/Lover but admittedly it was a painful moment. She was told by some people who knew him that he had been dating someone else fairly seriously this past year, so that explained why he would not have sex and only called once and while at the last minute for dinner. Nothing, however, explains his early morning phone sex calls. Oh yeah, wait. He is a jerk and a putz. That explains it.

Anyway, this made her so angry that she really stopped having any fantasy or expectations of him for once and for all and resolved to never pick up the phone again when it was he. And this opened the door for her to walk out of her apartment and when she did, she met a really cute guy, available and just her type, who lives across the street and invited her to lunch! We will see on Monday how it goes, but the point is, she, too, is embarking on the plan and getting out a lot more. And no matter how the lunch goes, she is much happier.

Though after she and I eat our Thanksgiving dinners for two, on my every day china, neither one of us might be that happy. Actually, that is a lie. We are having a ball planning our humongous dinner and decided to get it delivered, so we don’t have to cook anything and mass quantities of champagne will be consumed.

And finally, Dear Readers, I finally got the name of a supposedly “great’ masseuse who I am trying tomorrow and if she is, I am in pig heaven . It’s been too long since I had a great massage and as you may know, that does wonders for a gal.

See you next week and if you see me on the street … do say hi.

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