6.4.07: Mother, Fathers and families New York Style ...

Mother, Fathers and families New York Style ...

The Empire State Building reflected off the Javits Center facade. 5:00 PM. Photo: JH.

I had lunch last week with two writers/ editors, Betsy Perry and Betty Kelly Sargent. Mmes. Perry and Sargent have written two companion books called: “What Every Daughter Wants Her Mother to Know” and “What Every Daughter Wants her Father to Know.”

The “Mother” book is dedicated to their respective daughters: one who “taught me how to listen” (B. Perry) and the other who “taught me how to love” (B.Sargent).


DPC with Betsy Perry and Betty Kelly Sargent

The content is very simple and to the point. For example there is one page: “Mom, I’ve always wanted you to know….Even though I look like I’m not listening, YOUR VOICE is the first one I hear.”

I think that could apply to a few sons too.

It quotes Rita Rudner: “Neurotics build castles in the air; psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.”

Or: “You re the best, Mom…. I’ve always respected your right to lie about your age. But now that you are younger than I am, it might be time for us to rethink this.”

They quote Toni Morrison: “Grown don’t mean nothing to a mother.” A child is a child. They get bigger, older, but grown? What’s that supposed to mean? In my heart it don’t mean a thing.”

Or the Jewish Proverb: “God could not be everywhere so he created mothers.”

In their book for Fathers, they dedicate respectively to a brother (B. Perry) “You’ve been the best brother and now you’re the best father – I love you.” And: “For my wonderful son…. and his lovely wife.” (B. Sargent).


	Click to order

Dads get thanks. “Thanks for walking me down the aisle several times. One of these days I’ll get it right.” Or: “Before you remarried I had you all to myself and hated the idea of sharing you with anyone else. But the truth is, even when you did find a wife, I always knew I still came first – or at least didn’t lose my place in your heart.” There is the French Proverb: “A father is a banker by nature.”

A perfect gift for either on Those Days ...

More mothers and fathers. The Alliance for the Arts is a non-profit organization that represents the arts to government and the civic community and conducts pioneer research on the arts as an industry. The Alliance makes the case that public and private funding of the arts adds value to the quality of New York life for all of us. Through cultural guides such as NYC ARTS and NYCkidsARTS, the Alliance also promotes the wide variety of visual and performing arts, historic houses and landmarks, zoos, gardens and science museums throughout the five boroughs.

Last Thursday night over at the Tavern-on-the-Green they presented their 3rd annual Alliance for the Arts Prize to Joan Tisch, Laurie Tisch and Jonathan Tisch. One mother, one daughter, one son.

The Tisch family is one of New York City’s most prominent in the civic, philanthropic and business communities. Following their history one follows a family where the mothers and th fathers made profound and lasting impressions of doing good works.

The fortune, now well known, which has included Lorillard, CNA Financial, Loews, CBS, The New York Giants Football team, was created by two brothers, Preston Robert (Bob) and Laurence (Larry). They started with a 300 hotel in Lakewood, New Jersey (then a winter resort) in 1946, branched out into hotels in the Catskills and Atlantic City, acquired Loew’s (then an old and over-grown movie theatre chain) and from that built a multi-billion dollar business empire. The family partnership was lifelong. Larry Tisch died in 2003 and his brother Bob died in 2005.

Randy Bourscheidt, head of the Alliance for the Arts, Ashton Hawkins, Chairman, Kenneth Cole, Carolyn Sussman, Laurie Tisch, Emily Sussman, Joan Tisch, Jon Tisch, Kate Levin and Dan Doctoroff

While the Tisch fortune is well known, the family has always had a reputation in New York for being low-key, highly civic and philanthropically minded, and uninterested in personal aggrandizement (i.e., publicity). But there have been major donations to the Metropolitan Museum of Art, to NYC (Tisch School of the Arts), the NYU Medical Center, the Wildlife Conservation Society (Tisch Children’s Zoo). Given two months to live by his New York doctors, Duke University doctors were able to give Bob Tisch 14 more months. In recognition of their efforts, the Tisch family donated $10 million to the Duke Brain Tumor Center which was renamed the Preston Robert Tisch Brain Tumor Center in October, 2005.

There were two tables of Tisches at the Tavern that night. The two wives of the late founders, Joan (Mrs. Bob) and Billie (Mrs. Larry), and their children, friends and grandchildren. Joan and Bob’s son Steve, the film producer, couldn’t make it, and Andrew who had to attend the graduation of one of the Tisch grandchildren.

Thursday night’s honorees were the wife and children of Bob Tisch. Jonathan today is co-chairman of the Board and President of Loew’s. He also Chairman of NYC & Comopany, the city’s official tourism marketing operation, Treasurer of the New York Giants, and Trustee of his alma mater, Tuft University to which he endowed last year a gift of $40 million for the Jonathan M. Tisch College of Citizenship and Public Service. He’s also the author of “The Power of We: Succeeding Through Partnerships,” and “Chocolates on the Pillow Aren’t Enough: Reinventing the Customer Experience to Win Lifelong Loyalty.”

His mother and his sister, Joan and Laurie, besides serving on the board of the Giants, have made significant cultural and philanthropic contributions in the name of the family also, including the underwriting and planning and renovation of the new building to house the Children’s Museum, as well as a building to considate operations and to house the growing staff of the Gay Men’s Health Crisis, the nation’s largest AIDS service organization. Joan Tisch has been working with GMHC since its inception. She is also the co-President of the Tisch Foundation, a trustee of the Museum of Modern Art, CityMeals on Wheels and the Tisch Center at the 92nd Street Y.

Laurie Tisch plays an important role in promoting arts education and education reform through the Center for Arts Education. She has also guided the establishment of the new home for the Children’s Museum. She’s a member of both the New York State Council on the Arts and the Mayor’s Cultural Advisory Commission, as well as Vice Chair of Teachers College, Columbia University; a trustee of Lincoln Center for the Performing Arts and the White Museum of American Art.

Betty Levin, Gordon Davis, and John Levin

Tom Quick and Kimberly DuRoss

Paul Gunther

They also support a number of major Jewish charities. They also created the Tisch Center for the Arts at the 92nd Street Y. Bob Tisch was a founding member of Citymeals-on-Wheels. He also founded Take the Field, a public/private partnership which has designed and rebuilt 43 outdoor athletic fields of New York City's public high schools.

Larry’s son James Tisch is chairman of the board of the Educational Broadcasting Corporation (WNET and WLIW), past President of the Board of United Jewish Communities and UJA-Federation of New York, as well as a Board Member and past President of Federation Employment and Guidance Service (F.E.G.S.).

Andrew Tisch, also son of Larry is President of the City Parks Foundation, and he is a past president and current board member of both the Jewish Communal Fund and the New York City Police Foundation. He also worked with his wife Ann Rubenstein Tisch in founding the first all girls pubic school in New York City – The Young Women’s Leadership School and the Young Women’s Leadership Foundation.

Jonathan Tisch and Chairman of NYC&CO, the City’s convention and visitors bureau and Chairman of the Travel Business Roundtable. He is also past chairman and current Board Member of the Welfare to Work Partnership.

I go into these details because it is a remarkable commitment from a remarkable family. The festivities on Thursday night were, like their honorees, low-key, except for the obvious and effervescent affection and admiration in the room for this family which uses its power and resources to grace the community with culture, charity, education, and inspiration.