The Crime of the Social Climb

Weekend sunset. 6:00 PM. Photo: JH.

This column is often referred to as a “gossip column” and although it technically is not, most of the time, due to the puny supply of gossip I have to offer, I don’t mind the designation. And gossip is everywhere in media these days. Yesterday, for example, the Style section of the New York Times had an article about Jessica Seinfeld, the wife of the very rich television comedian, Jerry Seinfeld and the controversies that swirl around her.

You probably know all this already: Mrs. Seinfeld has published a cookbook. She was also on Oprah talking about her cookbook. This appearance inspired Mrs. Seinfeld to thank Oprah by sending her a little something -- which turned out to be something like 21 pair of Manolo Blahnik shoes. Amounting to some $22,000 or $16,000 or “less than 10” in cost. Many people evidently think this is a little extreme. Not really; a lot of these people have all kinds of money and often spend it extravagantly. Which is their right. Besides Oprah once gave a car to everyone in her audience!


	Jerry and Jessica

The Times reporter Mr. Salkin called me before he wrote the piece, asking if I knew Mrs. Seinfeld and if I thought she was a social climber. I don’t know Mrs. Seinfeld and I don’t think anyone can even be a social climber anymore. Things are moving too quickly. What people can be is self-promoting. Mrs. Seinfeld looks like a textbook example, as least while she’s got a cookbook to hawk.

Now we all know that an appearance on Oprah is like being left a big trust fund, especially if you’ve gotta book or a pair-a-panties you wanna sell. This is a great thing. Tory Burch went on Oprah and her business was made, then and there. If there were ever a magic wand in contemporary society today Oprah’s holding it. She certainly did just that for Seinfeld’s wife. Fairy godmothers like Manolos too.

Self-promoting is also what makes New York go. Oftentimes the biggest self-promoters get the most accomplished, not only for themselves but for many others too. Mrs. Seinfeld’s pet charity, Baby Buggy, which re-distributes baby supplies and clothing to those in need in New York, has been a boon to the community. Her betrothal to Mr. Seinfeld, however, seems to be her fatal flaw, where’er she goes. At least according to the New York Times. For by the end of the Salkin piece, the subject is still “when did she leave her first husband, and why?” Inquiring minds want to know.

The Seinfeld marriage story was actually first a movie, written by Elaine May, the great comedienne and one-time partner of Mike Nichols. It was called “The Heartbreak Kid,” starring Charles Grodin and released in 1975. In it the character played by Grodin meets someone else on his honeymoon and ditches his wife for her. The ditched “wife” is also a whining princess and the new girl is hot hot hot, and so it’s easy to see the motivation. Either or, which would you choose? Well then, who can honestly criticize Jessica Sklar Seinfeld? It’s years later. She’s got three kids. She writes cookbooks (at least sorta), she gets baby clothes for mothers who need them. She does TV, like Oprah and The Today Show. So she likes a little attention. Buy the cookbook; make yourself something scrumptious to eat. For that you can thank Jessica. And your friend Seinfeld for marrying her and getting her into the New York Times. The Paper of Record.

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