Joy Lewis is a woman who turned a small boutique stationer into the ne plus ultra engraved stationer known as Mrs. John L. Strong. She is also my neighbor. Although she has retired, I decided to get her take on the Art of the Thank You. What an inspiration.

The signature red pomegranate engraved on a white card at $135.00 for 20 cards and envelopes, from Mrs. John L. Strong, 699 Madison Avenue, 212-838-3775 and at Barney’s, 660 Madison Avenue at 61st Street, 9th floor, 212-826-8900.

“Thanking is one of the biggest ceremonies. An Email is not very personal, and a phone call works once in awhile for a quick dinner. But nothing works as well as a handwritten note. And it is such a joy to receive, even if it is two or three sentences.

“A thank-you note is really a sound bite,” she continued. “Keep it short and pithy. You don’t have to write a letter, but write it while you still feel it.  If you wait too long, it gets harder to do and you may overcompensate by making it too long.”

One of the most poignant notes Joy ever received (and has saved) came from a customer whose sister had drowned. While Joy’s company produced monogrammed stationery for the woman to use for acknowledging sympathy gestures, Joy also called a florist and asked him to take her client “a branch of quince”. She wrote three sentences on a big piece of paper: ‘You have always been so sensitive and thoughtful. And now this. Thank You, Lexanne.’

“Most men have bolder, larger handwriting, and like the Large Standard Size (5-1/4” X 7-3/8”) or the Elongated Standard  (4-1/16” x 6-1/2”),” says Nanette Brown who also notes that “both men and women who are real letter writers and paper connoisseurs seem to prefer plate-finish paper, though vellum is the most popular.” 

According to Elizabeth Ames Lahaussois, retail group vice president at Tiffany & Co., the most popular cards are about 6-1/2” x 5”. You get the picture.

Be Yourself:

Be comfortable with your stationery. Typeface and ink color reflect one’s own style. Most cards are engraved with either the person’s initials or full name (i.e. Julia Anderson Smith).

Find a card that expresses something about you whether it is the color/s of the paper or the motif from a bright green turtle to a lily of the valley, a taxi, even a golden laughing Buddha.

Ecru remains the most popular color choice, with navy ink,” says Elizabeth Ames Lahaussois,. “White is a close second.”

Some people personalize their stationery even further. One Strong customer liked the smallest size card but wanted a coral-orange border and a red edge “to make it vibrate,” says Lewis. “We put her name with an extra space between each letter so that it went all the way across the bottom. Washington journalist Sally Quinn wanted a little ornament on the flap of her envelope in honor of Fleur Cowles, because Fleur always drew a little something on her envelopes. Sally would recognize those as letters from Fleur. It made the experience of opening and reading a letter a personal ceremony.”

Like many women, Strong’s Nanette Brown has stationery for each residence – London, New York City, and her house in Sagaponack. She also uses cards from the company’s annual collections as her preference is to say “thank you” in this casual way.

What to say on a thank-you.

“Mention something about the gift, the school, the person, the meeting or whatever you are writing about and then say why you are enthusiastic,” says Wren Press’ Ann Patron. As Nanette Brown offers: Use a warm opening, a specific reference to the reason for the note, a promise for the future, and an affectionate (or cordial, for a business thank you) closing.

Just do it:

“The hardest thing about writing a thank-you note is sitting down to do it. To help, Ann Patron suggests keeping cards, envelopes, stamps and addresses (even a copy of your address book) together, even in a wicker basket. And keep it handy.”

While we’ve seen and are showing some of the best of the best, Joy Lewis puts it all in perspective. She still likes rubber stamps or printing that looks like stamps.

“When I was ten years old, I got a set of Snow White rubber stamps, and I stamped those figures on lined tablet paper. I was a verbal little kid, so I wrote long thank you letters,” says Joy.  “And when I was in college, deciding whether to major in music or theater, I’d buy blue paper in the drugstore, draw pictures on it with my colored pencils and sell it to the other students.” For the recent holidays, Joy used one rubber stamp with a tree on it, the kind landscape architects use, and another stamp with a customized name on it, to make stationery for the arborist in her family, her older son, Whitney.