It’s been noted that along with the challenges and sensations — from terror to wonder and everything in between — the last seven months have brought us the gift of time. Like many of us without a social life, in particular gallery openings, painter Pamela Talese has had “more time to work, clean, cook, and read.”
Pamela recently sent over a project she had completed in early spring when she found it almost impossible to focus but had to do “something.” So in her spare time, she created Noli Me Tangere [NMT], a fake fashion line in watercolor that falls somewhere between WWD and the J. Peterman catalogue for the pandemic era.
The resulting sartorial satire, if you will, makes for a very good laugh; something we could all use. — JH
It’s midsummer and as the news careens from one extreme to another, we’re aware that this situation is going to drag on for a long time. We must therefore prepare ourselves, practically, physically, mentally, and emotionally for challenges in the months ahead.
And just because there’s a pandemic threatening our friends, families, and communities, we can still remember who we are, and dress well, can’t we? I mean, don’t you think it’s about time to ditch the velour tracksuit of defeat and resist creeping Athleisure?
Introducing Noli Me Tangere (NMT), a global brand offering an extensive selection of women’s attire created in collaboration with fashion designers, textile artists, biochemists, Nano technicians, thought leaders, and consultants from the CDC, NASA, and the Elon Musk Foundation for Universal Betterment. NMT creations — distinctive and disinfecting, stylish and sanitizing.
TRENCH WELFARE
This piece is made from crisp Egyptian cotton and sealed with an eco-friendly water- resistant disinfectant spray so aerosolized droplets (should they even reach you) are neutralized instantly. Each wing-like sleeve, just under 6 feet wide, keeps things clear laterally. The striking silhouette lets others know to make room for fashion. And should the “trench curious” get too close, a simple rotation of the torso will remind them to social distance s’il vous plaits. The sophisticated yet sporty hue (available in khaki, persimmon and sage, shown here) transitions from spring through fall. It’s the only trench you’ll need to cut a wide swath through the seasons.
PRETTY BALLERINA
In times of trauma like these, why not revert to the fairy-princess fantasy that fashion saves lives? Our pancake tutu in Bright Sunflower tulle is supported by the traditional hoop, but made even wider with flexible tension rods that collapses for travel, a technology unique to NMT. Let the world be your stage as you glide through your day in style confident that no one can get tutu close.
HEY SAILOR!
Resort Season is months away, but honestly, who’s really considering a cruise? No matter. Weather this storm glamorously with NMT’s modern hoop skirt. This flattering frame is covered in our exclusive, vector stopping Invisi-Veil™ in Blue Horizon. An elegant silhouette with marine chic is always current. Add our striped top and coordinating hot pants and you’re sure to make waves.
OLÉ … AND OUT OF MY WAY
Embodying the romantic and powerful bullfighters of Spain, you proclaim your path like they rule the ring. Our ensemble of fitted trousers, a jewel-encrusted bolero jacket and topped with our super wide sombrero cordobés with pompom trim is nothing short of striking. It also keeps you safely out of striking distance. We all need courage these days, so put on little matador machismo and a pair of patent leather pumps. It’s the perfect balance of masculine and feminine to pretend you’re in a Pedro Almodóvar film.
IN THE RUFF
One of the most extravagant clothing items of the 16th century is back and better than ever. We’ve seen a smattering of over-the-top ruffled collars reminiscent of the Commedia dell’Arte and Tudor tyranny on the runway since 2003.
So what make our detachable pleated collar of enormous proportions so special? Aside from the obvious space making capabilities, this elegant pleated disc not only flatters your face with its illuminating glow, our ruff is made from exclusive, vector-stopping Invisi-Veil™ over NMT’s flexible, feather-light, tension rod system. You’ll barely know it’s there, and can use its sturdy surface for your smart phone or tablet whilst teleconferencing or streaming your favorite series (if you haven’t watched them all by now). Paired with our elegant jump suit in Jet/Silver and green gauntlets, you’ll look as enchanting as Pierrot and as rocking as David Bowie.
THE 3WAY™
The3Way™ is the answer when you don’t know your preference. It’s perfect for travel, and we will be traveling at some point, right? But at the moment we need to keep our social distance. With an adjustable center ring, the The3Way™ can be worn as a hat, a skirt, or a fetching decorative collar and is available in two different materials. For the romantic, The3Way™ natural rattan, is at once airy, elegant, and rustic, reminding us of exotic rendezvous in some tropical colonial estate. For the modernist, our sleek, stretched poly-silk in this season’s best colors (below) will give you the edge. Our EZfold mechanism makes The3Way™ portable, so you’ll always have “your space” wherever you are.
THE 3WAY™ in STRETCHED POLYSILK
Modern, elegant, portable, pandemic and even waterproof.
See ACCESSORIES page for folding diagrams and other details.
21ST CENTURY FOX HUNTER
“When it comes to equine-inspired fashion, we’re seeing less western, more Westchester” writes ELLE’s Justine Carreon. NMT sees more Master of the Hounds. Be admired from afar in this fiery frock coat in cavalry twill cloth with a Tattersall lined upper body, black velvet over-collar, and brass buttons paired with thigh-high riding boots. The dynamic contour is, as ever, achieved by our patented lightweight, flexible tension rods keeping things breezy for you, while keeping others a bay. The fine leather, brass capped riding crop (sold separately) is also helpful to remind others to maintain proper social distance.
EQUESTRIAN
“Realistically, only the bourgeois can afford a high-fashion wardrobe, while the rest of us have to pay attention to the trends, so we can find more affordable versions. Equestrian- inspired outfits, however, seem so tightly entwined with old money identity that we’re not sure how much of them will trickle down to the rest of us. That said, here’s to the horse girls the fall 2020 runway trends represented.” — Maya Adivi, GLOWSLY Magazine
THE BIG TENT
Introducing our sundress supreme, the ultimate universal maxi dress that’s reversible (purple & cobalt shown here) and widely inclusive with full-spectrum social acceptance. The on-trend adjustable cross shoulder straps accommodate any cup size, or none at all! The Big Tent is an all-out, fun, flashy, gender fluid, and total body positive garment.
NUN PLUS ULTRA
Deo volente may get through this troubled time, but why take chances? This Madonna blue full frock dress with a deep V-neck opening is at once demure and daring. Combining an austere aesthetic with an Eero Saarinen flight of fancy, the multicolor striped, flexible poly/linen cornette can be pulled tightly around the face in shoulders for those eye of a needle occasions. Absolutely divine.
PRIESTLY CHIC
Religious glamour and ecclesiastical elegance – that’s the vibe the caped coatdresses exuded on the runway this season. These formfitting simars in Mort Noir comes with scarlet or magenta details, coordinating silk moire cincturein with long fringes with hand-tied knots. Both versions can be worn narrow with a biretta and silky veil in our exclusive, vector stopping Invisi-Veil™ or a space making saturno. In plague times, it’s best to have God on your side.
FLY ME TO THE MOON
Mars, and beyond. Don’t you just love innovation? Inspired by battling billionaire flights of fancy, NMT presents two ‘Musk have’ ensembles. The Galaxy Gown in Boeing Blue, incorporates details from the Starliner uniforms including two front and back skirt pockets for your personal items, contact tracer, survival kit, and a tube of our NoSmudge™ lipstick to keep things pretty. At right: a sleeker version of the SpaceX clunky costume in chalk with ecru details. Tinted face shields, light-weight, specialized footwear, antimicrobial, antibacterial, antiviral fashion get you ready for your next adventure. We’ve ruined one planet. It’s time to ruin another.
DAY-GLO IS BACK
What’s fluorescent pink, orange, blue, green, and yellow, and refuses to blend in with the crowd? NMT’s new CAUTION COLOR series that says stand back! These highlighter- inspired neon ensembles combine hi-viz, droplet-resistant textiles with our whisper fine, vector stopping Invisi-Veil™ face shields, your ultimate source of protection. Pull on these super bright evening gowns when you want to stop people in their tracks or dress like a traffic cone. And who doesn’t?
BOHDI-BAG™ TRIO
Who hasn’t felt a rush passing a major construction site? Soon, super tall architecture will be climbing faster than second wave COVID cases and even the unemployment index. The safety netting-inspired Bohdi-Bag™ takes its name from the tree where the Buddha attained nirvana. The Bohdi-Bag™ is a form fitting, flexible mesh garment that can be pulled over any ensemble including your face so you’re completely pandemic proof. Heavy-duty and feather light, this single size, knitted polyethylene blend garment is both OSHA and CDC compliant and comes in a selection of hi-vis hues: Immediate Risk Red (shown here with Caution Orange vest), Must-B-Seen Neon Green, or Caution Orange paired with our modern poncho in On-the-Go-Fluo-Yellow. While some essential workers still lack PPE, your protective style is visible for miles.
SHEER AND SASSY
Transparent, translucent, and ready to take on the world, the netted bridal veil is no longer a surprise accent. Street wear or beach wear, even around the house, this versatile garment is a life saver. Made of our exclusive, anti-bacterial, vector stopping Invisi-Veil™ fabric, these diaphanous accessory shields in assorted lengths and colors are the must have item this season.
LADY LIKE
Along with our current catastrophe, recent news stories that suggest ‘Victorian’ or ‘Dickensian’ diseases are making a comeback. As the fall fashion forecast is for tailored suits and serious silhouettes in sturdy fabrics, NMT is ready with tight weaves, tweeds, and autumn tone twills perfectly suited for our full-face protection Parasol Hat with attached anti-bacterial Invisi-veil™ that wraps neatly around the neck to for strong viral protection for maladies from Antonine Plague to Zika.
SAVING FACE … AND EVERYTHING ELSE
Sometimes we don’t have the luxury of space. Even as flexible and adaptable as our patented NMT tension rods are, revolving doors can pose a problem. The Narrows, our leaner line for more tailored protection, offers many ensembles for any occasion or time of day. Outerwear with large collars in this season’s colors such as Butter Yellow or Blue Steel; our beautiful evening gown with hood in Mandarin Red topped with a shoulder piece of curved aluminum strands and a whisper fine, vector stopping Invisi-veil™. And when you need more solitude, our Military Green boiled wool jacket with deep hood will keep you safe and antisocial. Nitrile gloves in regular and opera lengths in a wide range of colors also available. See ACCESSORIES.
BETTER LATEX THAN NEVER
It’s not just for surgical gloves anymore. And even before we had to shelter, this fetish favorite finally had its fashion breakthrough on the fall 2020 runways. Now that we all need a pandemic prophylactic, it’s great it can be found in so many fetching designs and colors. All of the trends are here: the citron trench (and doctor’s bag), the sleek latex strider pants with hand-sleeve jacket, the boiler suit, the apron dress (with stethoscope necklace), and the totally impregnable floor length cape. All of these versatile, on-trend garments are now available through NMT in heavy duty, medical grade, nonallergenic latex. Perfect for situations where infection is a risk, but la mode is a must.
THE HAVES AND HAZMATS
As pandemics can happen in any country and any season, NMT’s fashion forward full cover jumpsuits are your single piece solution. These impermeable whole body garments (Level A rating: the highest level of protection against vapors, gases, mists, and particles but without the self-contained breathing apparatus — SCBA — included in our swimwear line) come in a wide variety of patterns, many licensed by some of the world’s top designers.
Above, l. to r.: Everyday Camo; Emilio Pucci Passion Geometric (pink/purple); and Merrimeko’s Rakastaa ei rakasta pattern (turquoise). Add a colorful face shield fedoras and coordinating gloves and booties and you’ll defy the odds and look fabulous. (Please see ACCESSORIES for details.)
SWIMWEAR
We know. It all feels dangerous, but not when you have the NMT Wetsuit Advantage. Not only are our cinch waist, hoodie wetsuits are antimicrobial, antibacterial, and antiviral. They’re also SPF50. Pull our patented Invisi-Veil™ mask across your face and enjoy sun and sand in style and comfort. Add our goggles and patented, compact Respirateur Mignon™ (with sip-straw opening, see ACCESSORIES for details) when you’re in the mood for a dip into a bleach laced pool or a dive into the waves of our rapidly warming oceans. Red Algae resist and stinging jellyfish will be no match for you.
TEN TOPPERS TO DIE FOR
Always at the forefront, here is a NMT ltd selection of “Shields for how you feel / Snoods to suit your mood”. All of these styles (and more!) are made with our pandemic proof Invisi- Veil™ in this season’s best shades. When paired with our fabulous tinted goggles (in 9 fashion hues) and our patented, compact Respirateur Mignon all of our Invisi-Veil™ toppers are riot ready.
Please see ACCESSORIES for booties, a wide selection of gloves, veils and headgear, patterned fabrics, our patented Invisi-VeilTM, Bohdi-BagTM line and other Haz-Materials. Also check out our new STREET STYLE section, for the lady who “Doth Protest Too Much” New eyewear, go-bags, and more including the Respirateur MignonTM, our small and powerful escape-only air-purifying respirator for chemical, biological, radiological, and nuclear (CBRN) emergencies.
Top row from left:
NO HARM, NO COWL: a modern take on the fashion futurist, Pierre Cardin, closes tight to bridge of nose, but leaving ample space to not smudge your lipstick.
ORIGAMI: Chic, feather-light, and resembles a large snowflake when folded flat so can be used as a holiday ornament.
STEAMPUNK HELMET: For the Mad-Maxer in you, and just in case Burning Man happens again before the apocalypse.
DAIRY QUEEN: For Your Pleasure, fashion headgear with Invisi-VeilTM stretched over a double curve frame will make you mouth water. Available in three artificial flavors.
DANGER WILL ROBINSON: Waterproof, 5 fashion shades, patterns coming Spring 2021.
Bottom row from left:
SWEET TWIST: Summer is coming, and we all need a little SoftServ in hard times.
BUBBLE HEAD: Another Pierre Cardin inspiration, very popular with the 1% that’s living in a fishbowl.
SURRENDER DOROTHY: Now you’re torquing! Mod momentum for the finally valued hospital workers, domestic workers and similar sectors. Comes in steel blue, cloud gray, and silky soot.
YOU’RE A SAINT: All aglow in this golden cloche and veil, a truly feminine accent for unparalleled virtue signaling.
THE Bohdi-Bag™ Turtleneck. Part of our expanded line of Bohdi-Bag™ products that fold to pocket sized proportions and can be pulled over any ensemble.
INTRODUCING:
TAKE OFFS FROM THE RUNWAY
Actual designs by actual designers and occasionally actual copy. These are the some of the style trends from the Spring 2020-Winter 2021 forecasts, only amped up, exaggerated, and altered to meet NMT specifications, guaranteed style, and social distancing. Fashion always knows.
PALE COAT, PALE WIDER
“Yesterday, the designer [J W ANDERSON] said, via the collection’s notes, that this season had begun with a consideration of “volume and movement”. He elucidated a little further backstage after the show — he had been thinking about his models, walking out on to the runway. “You have to walk into a space of strangers,” he said. “How do you compete with the space?” In the collection, an answer came in a trio of vast trapezoid jackets with “exploded” shawl collars, out of which the models’ heads peeked. These were garments to take up space physically. Figuratively, too — you are unlikely to go unnoticed in these.” — (Text by Jack Moss for AnOther Magazine, 2.18.2020)
SLEEVES A LOT TO BE DESIRED
As Hannah Marriott notes in The Guardian, this is the season of “Unmissable sleeves — with their ruffles, puffs and frills — are ballooning across the catwalk and the high street. And there’s no sign of the trend deflating.” This magnificent piece Dries van Noten blue velvet is almost as big as the night sky, and will keep others almost as far away.
DE-FENDI YOURSELF
Take it back to the 18th century with the Victorian-inspired sleeves. Its oversized shape creates the illusion of a slimmer waist and adds an instant feminine touch to your ensemble as seen in this cream-sicle colored top by Fendi. Delicious.
CONNECT THE DOTS
A classic print that has been around forever has become more prominent on global pandemic maps as the runway. Belanciaga’s sky blue ensemble combines two great trends — polka dots and massive shoulders. In these frightening time when you have to get out from under your cozy layers, concierge service, but are not quite ready to feel exposed, an outfit with strong shoulders might be exactly what you need. This fall/ winter 2020 fashion trends that will help us prepare to face the future with our shoulders square and our head held high. Michael Quinn’s design thinks even further ahead, for hen the deluge comes, this pair of sassy sleeves can be used as a floatation device.
LEFT: a more low-key, localized, hip-focused cocoon shape in tomatillo husk green.
PUFF N’ STUFF
More is more for fall 2020, from oversized forms, voluminous gowns, drama and flair, sending out dresses that almost took up the entire runway. Pay attention! Heed fashion’s wisdom and don’t be afraid to take up space. In fact, closeness can be an enemy! So dress up, dress out, dress all around as these power-puff girls are doing in styles originally by AREA and adapted for your safety by NMT.
STORM WARNING
One of the most common silhouettes this season was very large and voluminous ones, big, bold, elegant cocoons that swallowed up the body and offered a layer of space, defending against too much interaction with ‘others’. For those who still perfect to shop for themselves, sleeping bag coats like this one from Maison Margilla (adapted by NMT) are great for long lines at Trader Joes this winter when the second wave hits.
ONE LIFE TO LEAF
From puffy dresses to large constructions, there were plenty of garments seen during the ready to wear previews best described as fabric explosions. These wild constructions, lush and dramatic as they were, seemed impractical, even for fashion. How would they’d fare off of the runways, in office buildings, to say nothing of elevators, taxis, and evolving doors? Then the pandemic struck and proved fashion always knows. For those of you who couldn’t flee to the country or a friend’s yacht, and must occasionally meet with work colleagues or friends, massive, color rich dresses like this one by Marc Jacobs (adapted by NMT) make it all seem not so terrible. Right?
ACCESSORIES:
2. SWIMWEAR: Respirateur Mignon™ with EZsip opening, breathable, virus proof even in water, detachable flower detail, 6 hues. Glamour Goggles: Many color combinations, perfect eye protection from pool to protest. NMT Wetsuit Advantage shown with attached Invisi-Veil™ mask.
3. SHAKE YOUR BOOTIES: High fashion Hazmat footwear, wide variety of styles and color combos. NMT footwear lines offer artisan-inspired, of-the-moment styles and bio-chemical permeation resistance.
4. NMT SPECIALTY TEXTILES: Invisi-Veil™ 14 shades The Bohdi Bag™ 4 Osha appoved colors
5. NMT STANDS IN SOLIDARITY: with our limited edition Kente pattern Invisi-Veil™ so you can wear your wokeness whilst expatiating about Ta-Nehisi Coates to anyone within earshot. Sold by the yard until we get distracted, the proceeds from which will not benefit anyone in a meaningful way. Promise.
6. THE3WAY schematics.
7. TENSION RODS and rattan folding system.
8. BUCKET HAT with face shield.
